Hosea 3
‘The gospel says you are more sinful and flawed than you ever dared believe, but more accepted and loved than you ever dared hope.’
Timothy Keller
Opening activity
This activity is constructed from The four horseman of Divorce (The Gottman Institute).
Criticism
An attack rather than a complaint.
Is the following sentence an attack or complaint?
You never think about how your behavior is affecting other people. I don’t believe you are that forgetful, you’re just selfish. You never think of others or me.
Is the following sentence an attack or complaint?
I was scared when you were running late and didn’t call me. I thought we had agreed that we would do that for each other.
Contempt
Being truly mean, disrespectful, mocking, sarcastic, ridiculing, eye-rolling and scoffing. Taking moral superiority over them.
Defensiveness
A response to criticism. When unjustly accused we fish for excuses and play the innocent victim.
Can you create a defensive and a non-defensive response for the following scenarios:
- "Did you put your dirty clothes in the basket like I asked?"
- "Why did you spend so much money at the mall?"
Stonewalling
When we shutdown as a response to contempt. Withdraw, stop responding, tune out or engage in obsessive/distractive behaviour.
Study
Read Hosea 3:1-5.
- Why is this a staggering request and what does it teach us about God? (Try and list at least 10 things)
- What can we learn about Christ and his ransom price paid from the following:
- Revelation 5:9-10
- 1 Peter 1:17-19
- 1 Timothy 2:5-6
- 1 Corinthians 6:18-20
- God could have compromised or quit on the relationship. Why didn't he? Are there any other options God could have taken?
- How do you prevent adultery and divorce in a marriage?
- If the Lord challenged you to “go love again” who would you think of?
- Gottman talks about the magic ratio of 5:1. For every 1 negative feeling, we need to experience 5 positive feelings from our spouse. Take some time now to think about 5 positive things about your spouse and also thank them for 3 specific things they have done this week.
